“When you can believe in yourself, even when others doubt, you will know moments of brilliance and success uncommon to most” Ken D. Foster

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel? Do you believe in yourself? Overall, do you like YOU and the person YOU are? If not, are you willing to do what it takes to bolster your self esteem?

One of the main components to attain lasting success (however you personally measure success) is the belief that you can do it. Believing in yourself is an attitude. You have to learn to believe in yourself to make what you want a reality. Sadly, extensive research has shown that over 85% of us have some degree of Self-Esteem deficit! At first, I was a little skeptical when I heard this shocking statistic. But then I started thinking about all the coaching clients I have worked with over the last 16 years, and most of them had some kind of self-esteem issue going on.

Many of these clients set goals, but never accomplished them. There seemed to be a theme of lack of completion. This is one of the key components in raising self-esteem – keeping commitments to yourself and others. And as these clients started taking responsibility for accomplishing what they committed to, their self-esteem rose in proportion, and so did their income.

Have you ever wondered what has stopped you from achieving your biggest goal? For many, it is lack of self-esteem, which has come from lack of concentration and commitment. Both of these qualities are learned, and you can start on these immediately. When you keep commitments to yourself, you start feeling better about yourself.

You must also learn how to believe in yourself to conquer life’s challenges and obstacles. Believing in yourself takes conscious effort. The first step is getting to know yourself. Through the process of introspection, you can ask and answer questions like, “What do I love to do”? What are my greatest talents, skills, and gifts”? “What have I already been successful at”? Without true, authentic love and appreciation for yourself, you will not reach the levels of self-confidence that it takes to really succeed in life. It is difficult to build a dream life, when you really don’t believe that you deserve it.

When we lack self-esteem or don’t believe in ourselves, it leaves the door open to many unpleasant results. When we make choices from low self-esteem, many times these choices are not in our best interest. They actually harm us. With high regard for yourself, you value your time, energy and effort. And when you respect yourself, you make choices that empower you. As a result, you attract people in your life that respect you and value your contributions.

A symptom of low self-esteem is procrastination. You put off things that will actually propel you to success. The reason this comes about is a sub-conscious belief that you are not worthy. If this is happening in your life, it is important to know and affirm that worthiness isn’t something that is earned, it is something you are born with. You are worthy to succeed, you are worthy to have a great life, you are worthy to feel loved, you are worthy to have great relationships. You are worthy to live the life of your dreams.

Many people believe that when they acknowledge themselves, they may be considered selfish. But there is a huge difference between selfishness and authentic self-love. Selfishness comes from ego and doesn’t have any regard for anyone else. Authentic self-love comes from the deep knowledge inside yourself that tells you that respecting yourself and valuing your talents is the pathway toward serving others in an empowering way. We need to value our time, energy and efforts when it will empower us. Once you can get to the point of honoring yourself so much that it becomes second nature, you will see nothing but joy around you. Those who surround you will love and respect you, because you have taken care of the business of “YOU”.

No one wants to be around a “downer.” Everyone wants to be surrounded by happiness and those who are joyful. So, to get there, you have to focus on yourself a bit, because building self-esteem is a skill that takes time and commitment.

I have found the best way to start building lasting self-esteem is to start asking empowering questions each day. One of the reasons questions work so effectively in building self-esteem is that the answer is in the question you ask. If you ask about the good in your life, you will find the answer. The opposite is also true, so make sure to focus on questions that empower you. If you are having trouble with figuring out what questions to ask, you can find 1001 life changing questions in my book “Ask and You Will Succeed”.

Here are a few questions to consider: What were some things in the past that you made you very happy? Did you do charity work? Did you make someone smile? Did you get an A on an exam? Did someone acknowledge that you are doing a good job? What have you accomplished that you are proud of? What makes you happy? These are types of questions to ask yourself so that you become aware of the greatness within you. It is very difficult to be unhappy and have low self-esteem when you are acknowledging your greatness, the good around you, and what you have brought into the world.

There is absolutely no avoiding the different circumstances in life, but it is how we travel through this journey that will determine our success or failure. We can either focus our minds on the fear of the unknown, procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, or low self-esteem behaviors; or we can focus our minds on the brilliance that comes through all of us and acknowledge our gifts, talents and the indomitable will power that is within us to overcome any obstacle to success. As we do, we will raise our confidence and self-esteem to higher and higher levels.

Ken D. Foster is the bestselling author of Ask and You Will Succeed, Coach and contributing writer to the Premier Coaching Blog. Find out about Ken’s life changing program at: www.premiercoachingvip.com

“Things change as we change our focus and get clear as to what we really want” Ken D. Foster

Many people are having a very difficult time finding the right work in these tough economic times. Are you? If so, you may need to take a different approach and start looking at what you are focusing on.

Do you have clarity on exactly what you want to get out of your next career or next job? Do you know where you want to work, and what you will accept? And do you have an effective plan to achieve what you truly want? Does what you want to do align with your life purpose?

These are powerful questions to ask yourself, because this kind of reflective self-questioning will eventually give you enlightened answers. The answer is always in the questions we ask. But, most people don’t stay in the questions long enough to get the answers they need to accomplish what they long for. The reason is simple. We get distracted and settle for what shows up as opposed to knowing exactly what we want and going after a goal that is much bigger than we believe is possible.

In my coaching practice, people show up all the time without any clear and specific goals or a written plan outlining how they will succeed. Many of these people are very good at connecting to their heart and their passion, but that is only one half of the equation. It also takes focused thinking and directed actions.

Successful people get great results because they have clarity about what they want their life to look like. They are willing to stretch themselves. They take the time to explore their options with the tools and opportunities that are available to them at that time. Then they apply their experience, talent and skills until they get what they want. Successful people also know what success means to them. Do you? Why is it important for you to succeed? Do you equate it with financial freedom, peace of mind, happiness, charity, family stability or building an empire with your resources? When you have a deep enough reason to succeed, your chances of success go up proportionally.

Right now, at this present moment, many people are just surviving the tumultuous economic roller coaster that our nation is experiencing. This doesn’t have to be a game of survival; you can actually grow your life and career and thrive in these times. Many people are doing just that, because they have learned how to reinvent themselves, and you can too.

First let me ask you: Are your job goals clear, reasonable and time sensitive? Do you know “WHY” you will accomplish these goals no matter what? Have you decided what you will give or give up to accomplish them? Do you know what obstacles may block your success? And what are the daily actions you will take? And finally what will you do if your actions aren’t working? Knowing your destination makes the journey possible. This is how you measure results, keep score, and determine whether you win the game. And since winning the game is about “Clarity” and “Clarity is Power” the clearer you are, the more empowered you will be to succeed.

To get anywhere in your life or business you need to have the right information at the right time. You need to know what has worked for others and be willing to model others’ success. In this regard it is important to have Coaches and Mentors in your life. These are people who can see your blind spots and help you manifest dreams that are bigger than what you think is possible. There is not a professional athlete around who doesn’t take advantage of coaching. Why? Because they have realized that to get to the next level they need support from coaches who care about their success and will help them get there.

So let me ask you: Who do you have in your life that is a professional coach? If you don’t have one or would like to get an insight as to why you are stuck, then I encourage you to check out www.premiercoaching.com or my new Coaching Membership Program at: www.premiercoachingvip.com This is an amazing Coaching Program that is affordable to just about anyone. And with the right coach you will discover and move quickly past the subconscious beliefs that are keeping you from permanent and lasting success. You don’t just get in your car and drive to a place you have never visited, right? You have a roadmap on how to get there. This is what professional coaching is all about!

One final thought, now is the time to be grateful for what you do have. If you have a job that you really do not care for, in these times, be happy you have a job that you don’t care for (because at least it is helping you to survive), and then use this as a stepping stone to find what is right for you. You don’t have to stay in a job that you don’t like, but like most people, you will have to find the right support to move to the next level.

If you have the courage and the passion to explore an opportunity that would be able to make you excel in the career of your choice and take you to a new income level, not only will you be able to provide more for you and your loved ones, but you will be fulfilling your dreams and fueling your spirit at the same time.

So, how do you get to where you want to go? How do you get to that point of fulfillment and satisfaction in knowing you have achieved something magnificent, all the while creating additional income? Find yourself the right coach. You will be glad you did.

Ken D. Foster is a bestselling Author, Speaker and Coach. His programs have helped thousands who now live more happy and fulfilling lives. Find out about Ken’s life changing program at: www.premiercoachingvip.com

“If you do not fail you will never succeed, and if you succeed, failure will become your friend” Ken D. Foster

How many of you have set resolutions every year, only to find yourself not following through several weeks later? That’s because we set out to accomplish new resolutions using old habits. That’s not going to work. So, are you ready to add another definition to the coined term: New Year’s Resolution? How about looking at your resolutions as a lifestyle change rather than an obligation? In other words, ask yourself this, “What bad habit or habits am I willing and courageously going to leave behind in 2009 and move forward without them in 2010?”

We are not only in a new year, my friends. We are also in a new decade. Doesn’t it sound more powerful and motivating to once and for all make those lifestyle changes?

 Are you being complacent? Are you just coasting in your life? Or, do you have the desire to be more and offer more to yourself and others? I would like to ask you something that will require a bit of introspection: “Have you shown up to your own concert?” In other words, are you living an authentic life and bringing forth your greatest talents and skills?  Look at it like this; thousands of people are in a concert arena. They have their outfits on, looking good, feeling good, and really ready to have some fun. Thousands of people are eager to hear and see your performance. But, YOU don’t show up! You are the star and thousands of people need to hear what you have to offer.   

There are many reasons why we do not show up to our own concerts. For starters, many of us wait for things to happen to us, or for others to do the work. This is your life and you are the actor on your own stage. This message today is to help you wake up so that you are not sleep-walking through your life anymore. Once and for all, you are going to live the life you desire with intention, structure and more importantly; belief in yourself.

Fear, self-doubt, self-sabotage, and low self-esteem are indicators of why you have not shown up to your own concert. What is really holding you back? Do you have a plan? More importantly, do you have a daily plan? Without a plan, our goals and ambitions can be unclear and being unclear can cause fear of the unknown. Fear can lead to procrastination, and as a result we spin our wheels and nothing gets done. Fear, however, can be both our best friend and our worst enemy.

Look at the word FEAR in a new way—as an adventure and doing something new. Doing something requires skill. Learning a new skill requires patience, mindfulness and positive self-talk. Do you find yourself telling yourself, “I can’t do this”. “I am too stupid to do this”, “What was I thinking of even trying this?” The way we speak to ourselves plays an enormous part in our success. It determines whether we continue to be motivated to reach for the stars or to stop dead in our tracks. When you try something new that you want to tell the world, be mindful as you take on your new life’s journey. Use some of these questions to guide you:

What three things/goals will get me closer to where you want to be?

How do I set my goals to be manageable and realistic?

What roadblocks can I anticipate?

How will I cope with those roadblocks?

What worked?

What did not?

What can I do differently next time to improve my results?

Trying something new not only requires positive self-talk, but also commitment.  Are you committed to starting each day with gratitude so you can show up to your own concert with clarity? The way you greet the world every morning sets the precedent for the entire day. Whatever occurs in your day is because you have set the intention to have it be such. Let me ask you this, “What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?” Really think about it. Did you immediately go to your To-Do List or did you give gratitude for the day beginning?

Here are some helpful tips to start your day:

Start your day by giving thanks. Feeling grateful helps us get out of our way and see life in a positive light. We greet the world by saying, “THANK YOU.”

Read something inspirational – when we do this, we become motivated to achieve the same success and attract what we want.

Sit in silence, breathe and meditate – when we master these skills we give ourselves permission to be open to what the world/universe/God is telling us. All answers to all problems come to us when we sit in silence. 

You are the most important person in your world. Remember that! It is not being selfish. It is having self-respect and self-love.

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com. 

Show Up To Your Own Concert Today!

Imagine you have decided there is no way out of your current life situation.  You will keep earning the amount of money that keeps you just over broke, you will continue to have the same relationships that don’t support your dreams, you will not be able to organize your life, your family life will not improve, the weight you have been trying to lose for years will keep coming back and your success will continue to start and stop over and over again. 

You know the stinking thinking that got you into this mess will keep you right where you are.  You have come to the conclusion that you will have to change your thinking on the inside in order to see life differently on the outside. 

The mind has one job – to find the truth to any question asked.  The problem that gets in the way of finding the answers to every challenge in life is twofold.  First, most people have been programmed to find the answers outside of themselves by asking teachers, family and friends for advice; and second, much energy is wasted on trying to prove the perception of what the mind perceives is true.  Your mind will try to overlook anything that will prove it wrong. 

Let’s take the latter challenge first.  If a thought crosses your mind that your partner doesn’t love you and you dwell on that thought, then the mind will start looking for proof.   It will try to prove that the statement is true and search for answers that justify the statement.  Then, your partner walks into the room.  Unbeknownst to you, she has just received some news about a friend who has lied to her.  You look at your partner’s face and think, “She can’t stand the sight of me.”  Now you have your proof.  Since thoughts beget feelings and feelings beget actions, you are now feeling angry, so you react to your partner by storming out of the room (action) to justify your thoughts that she does not love you.  Your mind uses this to enforce the original thought and so justifies its righteousness.  If at this point you call a friend and tell them how right you have been about your partner not loving you and your friend agrees, then you have more proof to justify your thoughts.  But this thought is an illusion.

If you use the mind properly and search for the real truth within yourself, you will soon come up with a truth that will replace whatever you have made up.  You can retrain the brain quickly by quieting the mind and asking powerful questions that will stir you to seek the truth.  You can find these powerful questions in the book “Ask and You Will Succeed.”  www.ask-succeed.com

An easy one to ask is, “Is this really true?”  If you keep asking the question you will eventually get to a new understanding of truth, in which case the mind will override and replace the original thought.  You will know when you have the right answer because you will have lasting peace around the issue. 

After answering the questions in “Ask and You Will Succeed,” many people experience immediate relief from thoughts that have troubled them for years.  What is noteworthy is that people who have redirected the mind continue to broaden and expand their life.  Many have had breakthroughs in the area of finance, where money is no longer a struggle.  Some find the career of their dreams.  Some experience more joy and fun in their lives than they have had in years.  Some who have been searching for life partners for years find them; others find their health improves dramatically; and many experience a newfound peace. 

What is exciting is that the inquiry can be fun.  The questions in “Ask and You will Succeed” are designed to work on both simple challenges and earth-shattering problems.  The questions are an education and they will bring light on every area of your life to put an end to ignorance and bring in joy.  The gift is that you will change the conversations in your life … and your life will never be the same again. 

The right questions will change perceptions and shift reality.  They will free your spirit from the prison of self-defeating thoughts.

If you’re like most entrepreneurs and business owners, doing business alone poses one of your biggest challenges.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all you have to do? Do you work more hours than you would like to?  Are you stressed out?  Do you sometimes wish you had a different life?  These are all signs that it is time for you to leverage what you are doing by putting together a team to support you.

Strategic alliances provide invaluable support for business owners.  When allies work as a team, the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. You win. Your allies win, and your company wins.  Because when people work together toward a common goal, magic happens.

Attract and choose your allies carefully. In any relationship, it’s not who shows up, but to whom we say “yes” to.  Ignoring red flags ensures disappointment and distress down the road.

Creating strategic alliances is like anything else – it’s an inside job.  When you are clear with what you want to attract into your life, you will find it quickly.  Start by asking yourself these key questions:

v What do I love to do and what would I like to delegate?

v What are the values, qualities and skill sets of your ideal partner?

v What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?

v Where are 5 places I can find my ideal strategic alliance?

To find out more about asking the right questions check out www.asksucceed.com.

Once you’re clear on the answers to these questions, you’re ready to move on to forming your ideal strategic alliances by taking these 10 steps:

1) Look at the different areas of your business – sales, administration, accounting, operations, marketing and publicity.

2) Look in the areas where you need support. What do you enjoy doing? What would you rather hand off to others, if you felt you could trust them?

3) Prioritize areas where you need help and support on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 as “it would be great if …” to 10 as “I need a lifeline now!”

4) Determine your highest values.  What MUST you have in a partner?  Do you want someone who’s trustworthy, creative, intuitive, or system-oriented? What MUST you avoid in a partner – lateness, dishonesty, a lax sense of ethics?

5) Determine the outcome you want.  What result do you want from your alliance – more customers, higher profit margin, or more time off?

6) Create a big vision for your company. Small aspirations lack the charisma to attract desirable strategic allies.  Think about how your company can be a force for good in the world – and how much more powerful that force could be if you formed the right strategic alliances.

7) What are you willing to give to make your strategic alliance work? It’s good policy to give first, and it always comes back to you in some form.  Think about what you can do for your allies to lighten their load. Get clear on why it’s important to you to form a strategic alliance.

Think about where you need to go to find the type of person or company you want for a strategic ally.  Ask yourself, where do I go to find these people? Who do I know who knows people like this?

9) Make a list of those people and where you’re going to go. Then set up a  specific timeline of when and where your will meet your new alliances.

10) Take immediate actions.  Do what it takes to find the strategic alliances you want: check with friends, go to networking groups (like www.sharedvisionnetwork.com/join and ask business associations to find the type of person you’re looking for; talk to potential allies; check their references; pitch them on the idea of forming a strategic alliance. Be proactive and choose your allies. Don’t wait for someone to choose you.

Once you’ve found prospective allies, ask them the same questions you’ve asked yourself:

v What do I love to do and what would I like to delegate?

v What are the values, qualities and skill sets of your ideal partner?

v What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?

v Where are 5 places I can find my ideal strategic alliance?

Their answers will tell you all you need to know about whether you’re meant for each other. When you find the right alliance you’re on your way to increasing success and creating a super life.

End

Ken Foster is a free-lance writer and the CEO of Shared Vision Network. To find out more go to www.sharedvisionnetwork.com/join or www.asksucceed.com or

So if you are in a place where you are ready to step into your Greatness, then follow the formula exactly and you will win.  First is to dream big.  Create a vision where many others can participate with you.  If the dream is too small you will end up doing what most unsuccessful people do and that is you will doing it alone.   Second is to turn your dreams into goals.  Establish daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals.  Without goals most dreams will remain dreams.  Third is to know what is really important to you about accomplishing your goals.  Without a strong purpose for accomplishing your goals you will be stopped when the going gets tough and it will get tough.  Fourth is to decide what you are willing to give or give up to accomplish your dream.  Fifth is to design the action steps necessary to fulfill your dreams.  Don’t fret over how you will get to your dream only take daily action toward your vision.  Commitment is of paramount importance here!  When you take daily action toward your dreams your dreams will take daily action toward you.

Now these actions alone will not accomplish what you desire.  There are a few more pieces to manifesting a life.  You must find a mentor who has traveled the road before you.  Maybe a business coach or mentor!  This person will be your guide and knows what lies ahead.  Next you must have a network of like minded individuals or master mind group to share your vision and support you in accomplishing what you have set in motion.  And finally you must release it to God, for everything comes from this one source and this is the true source of your power.  Without a daily connection to the infinite struggle will be the common theme of your life.

Ken Foster is CEO of Shared Vision Network – www.sharedvisionnetwork.com and CEO of Premier Coaching.com – www.premiercoaching.com.  His latest book “Ask and You Will Succeed can be found at www.ask-succeed.com.