Premier Coaching Blog

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“When you can believe in yourself, even when others doubt, you will know moments of brilliance and success uncommon to most” Ken D. Foster

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel? Do you believe in yourself? Overall, do you like YOU and the person YOU are? If not, are you willing to do what it takes to bolster your self esteem?

One of the main components to attain lasting success (however you personally measure success) is the belief that you can do it. Believing in yourself is an attitude. You have to learn to believe in yourself to make what you want a reality. Sadly, extensive research has shown that over 85% of us have some degree of Self-Esteem deficit! At first, I was a little skeptical when I heard this shocking statistic. But then I started thinking about all the coaching clients I have worked with over the last 16 years, and most of them had some kind of self-esteem issue going on.

Many of these clients set goals, but never accomplished them. There seemed to be a theme of lack of completion. This is one of the key components in raising self-esteem – keeping commitments to yourself and others. And as these clients started taking responsibility for accomplishing what they committed to, their self-esteem rose in proportion, and so did their income.

Have you ever wondered what has stopped you from achieving your biggest goal? For many, it is lack of self-esteem, which has come from lack of concentration and commitment. Both of these qualities are learned, and you can start on these immediately. When you keep commitments to yourself, you start feeling better about yourself.

You must also learn how to believe in yourself to conquer life’s challenges and obstacles. Believing in yourself takes conscious effort. The first step is getting to know yourself. Through the process of introspection, you can ask and answer questions like, “What do I love to do”? What are my greatest talents, skills, and gifts”? “What have I already been successful at”? Without true, authentic love and appreciation for yourself, you will not reach the levels of self-confidence that it takes to really succeed in life. It is difficult to build a dream life, when you really don’t believe that you deserve it.

When we lack self-esteem or don’t believe in ourselves, it leaves the door open to many unpleasant results. When we make choices from low self-esteem, many times these choices are not in our best interest. They actually harm us. With high regard for yourself, you value your time, energy and effort. And when you respect yourself, you make choices that empower you. As a result, you attract people in your life that respect you and value your contributions.

A symptom of low self-esteem is procrastination. You put off things that will actually propel you to success. The reason this comes about is a sub-conscious belief that you are not worthy. If this is happening in your life, it is important to know and affirm that worthiness isn’t something that is earned, it is something you are born with. You are worthy to succeed, you are worthy to have a great life, you are worthy to feel loved, you are worthy to have great relationships. You are worthy to live the life of your dreams.

Many people believe that when they acknowledge themselves, they may be considered selfish. But there is a huge difference between selfishness and authentic self-love. Selfishness comes from ego and doesn’t have any regard for anyone else. Authentic self-love comes from the deep knowledge inside yourself that tells you that respecting yourself and valuing your talents is the pathway toward serving others in an empowering way. We need to value our time, energy and efforts when it will empower us. Once you can get to the point of honoring yourself so much that it becomes second nature, you will see nothing but joy around you. Those who surround you will love and respect you, because you have taken care of the business of “YOU”.

No one wants to be around a “downer.” Everyone wants to be surrounded by happiness and those who are joyful. So, to get there, you have to focus on yourself a bit, because building self-esteem is a skill that takes time and commitment.

I have found the best way to start building lasting self-esteem is to start asking empowering questions each day. One of the reasons questions work so effectively in building self-esteem is that the answer is in the question you ask. If you ask about the good in your life, you will find the answer. The opposite is also true, so make sure to focus on questions that empower you. If you are having trouble with figuring out what questions to ask, you can find 1001 life changing questions in my book “Ask and You Will Succeed”.

Here are a few questions to consider: What were some things in the past that you made you very happy? Did you do charity work? Did you make someone smile? Did you get an A on an exam? Did someone acknowledge that you are doing a good job? What have you accomplished that you are proud of? What makes you happy? These are types of questions to ask yourself so that you become aware of the greatness within you. It is very difficult to be unhappy and have low self-esteem when you are acknowledging your greatness, the good around you, and what you have brought into the world.

There is absolutely no avoiding the different circumstances in life, but it is how we travel through this journey that will determine our success or failure. We can either focus our minds on the fear of the unknown, procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, or low self-esteem behaviors; or we can focus our minds on the brilliance that comes through all of us and acknowledge our gifts, talents and the indomitable will power that is within us to overcome any obstacle to success. As we do, we will raise our confidence and self-esteem to higher and higher levels.

Ken D. Foster is the bestselling author of Ask and You Will Succeed, Coach and contributing writer to the Premier Coaching Blog. Find out about Ken’s life changing program at: www.premiercoachingvip.com

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“If you do not fail you will never succeed, and if you succeed, failure will become your friend” Ken D. Foster

How many of you have set resolutions every year, only to find yourself not following through several weeks later? That’s because we set out to accomplish new resolutions using old habits. That’s not going to work. So, are you ready to add another definition to the coined term: New Year’s Resolution? How about looking at your resolutions as a lifestyle change rather than an obligation? In other words, ask yourself this, “What bad habit or habits am I willing and courageously going to leave behind in 2009 and move forward without them in 2010?”

We are not only in a new year, my friends. We are also in a new decade. Doesn’t it sound more powerful and motivating to once and for all make those lifestyle changes?

 Are you being complacent? Are you just coasting in your life? Or, do you have the desire to be more and offer more to yourself and others? I would like to ask you something that will require a bit of introspection: “Have you shown up to your own concert?” In other words, are you living an authentic life and bringing forth your greatest talents and skills?  Look at it like this; thousands of people are in a concert arena. They have their outfits on, looking good, feeling good, and really ready to have some fun. Thousands of people are eager to hear and see your performance. But, YOU don’t show up! You are the star and thousands of people need to hear what you have to offer.   

There are many reasons why we do not show up to our own concerts. For starters, many of us wait for things to happen to us, or for others to do the work. This is your life and you are the actor on your own stage. This message today is to help you wake up so that you are not sleep-walking through your life anymore. Once and for all, you are going to live the life you desire with intention, structure and more importantly; belief in yourself.

Fear, self-doubt, self-sabotage, and low self-esteem are indicators of why you have not shown up to your own concert. What is really holding you back? Do you have a plan? More importantly, do you have a daily plan? Without a plan, our goals and ambitions can be unclear and being unclear can cause fear of the unknown. Fear can lead to procrastination, and as a result we spin our wheels and nothing gets done. Fear, however, can be both our best friend and our worst enemy.

Look at the word FEAR in a new way—as an adventure and doing something new. Doing something requires skill. Learning a new skill requires patience, mindfulness and positive self-talk. Do you find yourself telling yourself, “I can’t do this”. “I am too stupid to do this”, “What was I thinking of even trying this?” The way we speak to ourselves plays an enormous part in our success. It determines whether we continue to be motivated to reach for the stars or to stop dead in our tracks. When you try something new that you want to tell the world, be mindful as you take on your new life’s journey. Use some of these questions to guide you:

What three things/goals will get me closer to where you want to be?

How do I set my goals to be manageable and realistic?

What roadblocks can I anticipate?

How will I cope with those roadblocks?

What worked?

What did not?

What can I do differently next time to improve my results?

Trying something new not only requires positive self-talk, but also commitment.  Are you committed to starting each day with gratitude so you can show up to your own concert with clarity? The way you greet the world every morning sets the precedent for the entire day. Whatever occurs in your day is because you have set the intention to have it be such. Let me ask you this, “What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?” Really think about it. Did you immediately go to your To-Do List or did you give gratitude for the day beginning?

Here are some helpful tips to start your day:

Start your day by giving thanks. Feeling grateful helps us get out of our way and see life in a positive light. We greet the world by saying, “THANK YOU.”

Read something inspirational – when we do this, we become motivated to achieve the same success and attract what we want.

Sit in silence, breathe and meditate – when we master these skills we give ourselves permission to be open to what the world/universe/God is telling us. All answers to all problems come to us when we sit in silence. 

You are the most important person in your world. Remember that! It is not being selfish. It is having self-respect and self-love.

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com. 

Show Up To Your Own Concert Today!

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“Poor questions and choices cause a man his own destruction” Ken D. Foster

I want you to picture yourself two years from now. Imagine that in those two years, you are required to make significant changes in your life. You have been given all the resources to make positive choices that will create positive outcomes. It is your last day of those two years and you will be given no more resources or opportunities to grow. You will remain stuck for all eternity. How does that feel? How does it feel to know that you wasted two years doing the same thing over and over again and gained no positive change? Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

 Well, this is reality for many people. One day you wake up and realize that your life has been filled and fueled by habits that inhibit your personal growth. You create your own life. You have created your own reality by the choices you have made.

 To start with making positive choices in your life, first make a choice to respond with kindness. Choose to take the road less traveled. Try not react in vengeance or payback to those who did you wrong.  When we are kind to those who wronged us, we feel empowered and experience self-love.

 There is a difference between a reaction and a response. A reaction is emotional and immature, whereas, a response is logical and mature. Once you can master that, your choice has empowered you. For example; every event evokes an emotion. Your emotion contributes to a response or a reaction. In a split second, your choice to respond or react can determine a positive or negative outcome. When you make the choice to react, you only damage yourself. You can become angry, stressed, anxious and worrisome; none of which are good for you. When you choose to react to an event or a situation, you lose your personal power. You have handed over power to your emotions. Once you can master your own emotions, the choices you will make in the future will be more responsive and logical. We create the outcome in everything we do and say.

 Choices can also disempower you and force you to remain stuck in old habits. Look back at something that happened in your life recently. Was there a decision that you made where you could have responded differently? What was that event? What choice did you make to diffuse the situation? Did you react? Did you respond? How does it feel looking back on that event? Could you have responded differently to it to have created a more positive outcome? You must learn to become detailed and specific about the choices you make or you will continue to repeat the same habits which in turn will have the same outcome.

Fear is a choice. Fear can be your best friend AND your worst enemy. Wouldn’t you rather embrace fear of the unknown than run away from it? I know this sounds cliché, but imagine 30 years from now and you are looking back on your life. Would there be something that you wish you had done, but chose not to because of fear? I am sure there is. We don’t move forward in life without taking some sort of positive risks. We also don’t get anywhere from worrying about the “what if’s”. The “what if’s” will hold you back from the success you want to see in yourself.

What choice can you make today to move yourself forward whether you are scared or not? The goal here is to get you unstuck from making poor, useless, and unproductive choices. Let’s make the change.

How do you do that? First, you have to be aware of the energy that surrounds the choice you are about to make. Take, for example, your breakfast. If you reach for oatmeal first thing in the morning, you know it has health benefits. It will give you more energy and lower your cholesterol, so we hear. Doesn’t that sound more beneficial than reaching for frosted flakes? How would you rather start your day? Healthy or Unhealthy?

Here is a choice menu for you to try:

Begin taking ownership of your life and the choices you made in the past: Accept and Surrender to it. It is what it is and you cannot change the past. The only thing you can do is change your future by making positive choices.

Every single morning make the choice to feel great. Before you step foot on the ground, tell yourself it is going to be a great day and you will feel and be awesome

Take pride in everything you do. Go into it with a positive attitude. Remember, you cannot change people or situations at times, but you can change your response to them

Here is your weekly introspection.

Ask yourself this question every morning:

WHAT ACTION STEP(S) CAN I TAKE TODAY THAT WILL DETERMINE POSITIVE AND SUCCESSFUL OUTCOMES?

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com.