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Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“The greatest of all enemies of man is himself. More than personal or national enemies, more than germs, bombs or any other threat, man should fear himself when he is wrong. To remain in ignorance of your divine nature and to be overpowered by bad habits is to make an enemy of your own self. The best way to be successful in this adventure of life is to be your own friend.”
- Parmahansa Yogananda

What does anger have to do with success? A life filled with anger is one subject to violence and chaos, one in which peace and tranquility are strangers and resentment and blame constant companions. Anger is the cause of broken homes, broken dreams and broken lives. An angry life is an unsuccessful life.

When resentment born anger is left unchecked, it can harden into impenetrable barriers, emotional defenses that separate us from the ones about whom we care most. In a life lived from behind these bulwarks, finger-pointing and blame are so rampant that one is rendered incapable of taking responsibility for his actions. Love withers and dies.

“Many people are driven by resentment and anger,” says renowned pastor and author Rick Warren in his book The Purpose-Driven Life. “They hold onto hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in their minds. Some resentment-driven people ‘clam up’ and internalize their anger, while others ‘blow up’ and explode it onto others. Both responses are unhealthy and unhelpful.”
Despite the dire consequences of living this way, why are so many of us so angry? Is it because the rewards we seek are not immediate? Is it because we face challenges to our most passionately held convictions? Or is it because we’ve inherited some long-obsolete instinct we cannot overcome? It may be impossible to know, but that doesn’t mean we can afford to ignore this sometimes paralyzing force.

Anger can be an intense emotional state, a sense that you are being antagonized by someone or something. But it can also be a chronic condition, a simmering soup of displeasure. For many, it simply becomes a habit.

Anger is generally rooted in feelings of frustration and helplessness, envy and jealousy, the belief that you are unable to attain what you want and the fear that you will lose what you have. Think about the last time you were angry. Why did you feel that way? What did you want that you weren’t getting? What were you afraid you would lose?

Anger almost always hurts the angry person more than the object of his anger. The person who made you angry may not even know he made you angry; even if he does, he has likely moved beyond whatever feelings of responsibility – or lack thereof – he had, while you continue to stew in your own juices. You cling to the anger as if it were a precious jewel. You replay the circumstances that gave rise to it over and over in your head. You seize on how you were right and he was wrong. In engaging in an endless hypothetical argument, you have given this person power over you.

In fact, those who have offended – who hold this power over you – cannot perpetuate the offense unless you let them. Don’t let them. First, admit to yourself that you are angry. Then, see if you can isolate the factors that trigger this anger, that keep its embers glowing. After you have identified them, consider your values in determining how and why they set you off. What is important to you? In the grand scheme of your life, what really matters?

Now that you have put your anger into this perspective, can you let go of it? Are you ready

to forgive the offense and more on? Or do you feel an airing of your grievances is required first? Once you have reflected on the nature of your anger and come to some enlightenment, you must take action to defuse it.

Ridding oneself of anger is an ongoing process, one you may never fully complete. However, by understanding the root cause of your anger and its triggers, you can gain control over it, quash its power to influence your feelings and behavior, maybe even find something positive breathing beneath its surface.

Ask yourself: When was the last time you were angry? How did it feel? Why did you feel that way? How did you react? What were the consequences? Was the situation resolved? If not, why not? If you can learn something about yourself from anger, you can make it your ally and thus another foothold on your climb to success.

Visit the GreatestYearEver for more questions that will open doors to answers unseen.©

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

The power of trust starts deep within ourselves when we access the state of vulnerability. The psychologists tell us that by becoming vulnerable we can be healed. It is in the risk-taking that we move through our fears. When we stretch our limits, we continue to grow and develop our strengths. This space can only be accessed when we feel complete safety. It is in a trusting environment that we become willing to take risks. Whenever we are in a space where we are free to express all emotions, free from judgment, criticism, and anything except wholehearted support, we let go of our defenses and open up. When we experience consistent love and support, we start to feel safe and open further, allowing our natural and authentic self to come out and play. When we let go of caring about what others might say or think and allow ourselves to make mistakes, we start to form a natural bond of comfort and ease with ourselves and our audience. It is this place where self nurturing and unending creativity pop out. It is here where we begin to communicate better, feel better and know the perfect movements, statement, feelings and actions for each moment. Many of us feel the need to be performers, always rehearsing our lines and comparing ourselves to others. As children, most of us were manipulated by parents, teachers and authority figures to do and become what they thought was best for us. Some were told, “Children should be seen and not heard,” or “Think before you speak.” Many of us were, at best, supported through “constructive criticism.” Some were diminished, embarrassed or just plain ignored. We performed in a way that supported what others thought we should be doing or saying. We accepted the idea that we had to perform rather than be ourselves. In fact, many of us took speech training where we were told to stand a certain way, speak with a “normal voice,” and look over our audience in a certain manner. The thought seldom occurred to us that we are perfect just the way we are! It is our uniqueness that shines the brightest and our differences to which others connect. When we celebrate our differences, we connect to our human oneness that says, “You’re different and that’s great!”

The power of trust lies within the power of truth. When we are truthful with ourselves, we start focusing on our brilliance instead of the past illusions of what others told us we should do or who we think we should be. It is only when we have the willingness and desire to let these illusions go that the truth of our being is revealed. It is in this search that we can let go of past wounds that stifle our abilities in the moment to realize what we have become. When we are busy thinking about what we could have become or should say, or what we should look like in front of others, our creative nature is blocked. We are then relating to others from a place of limitation, lack and fear — not trust. The power of trust is realized when we open up to our unlimited possibilities that lie just this side of truth. As you open up to this truth, the masks and defenses fade way and the uniqueness that only you possess comes forward seeking its greatness!

As you open up your heart, you will see the amazing qualities that lie locked within yourself.  I can coach you through this!