Premier Coaching Blog

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“Poor questions and choices cause a man his own destruction” Ken D. Foster

I want you to picture yourself two years from now. Imagine that in those two years, you are required to make significant changes in your life. You have been given all the resources to make positive choices that will create positive outcomes. It is your last day of those two years and you will be given no more resources or opportunities to grow. You will remain stuck for all eternity. How does that feel? How does it feel to know that you wasted two years doing the same thing over and over again and gained no positive change? Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

 Well, this is reality for many people. One day you wake up and realize that your life has been filled and fueled by habits that inhibit your personal growth. You create your own life. You have created your own reality by the choices you have made.

 To start with making positive choices in your life, first make a choice to respond with kindness. Choose to take the road less traveled. Try not react in vengeance or payback to those who did you wrong.  When we are kind to those who wronged us, we feel empowered and experience self-love.

 There is a difference between a reaction and a response. A reaction is emotional and immature, whereas, a response is logical and mature. Once you can master that, your choice has empowered you. For example; every event evokes an emotion. Your emotion contributes to a response or a reaction. In a split second, your choice to respond or react can determine a positive or negative outcome. When you make the choice to react, you only damage yourself. You can become angry, stressed, anxious and worrisome; none of which are good for you. When you choose to react to an event or a situation, you lose your personal power. You have handed over power to your emotions. Once you can master your own emotions, the choices you will make in the future will be more responsive and logical. We create the outcome in everything we do and say.

 Choices can also disempower you and force you to remain stuck in old habits. Look back at something that happened in your life recently. Was there a decision that you made where you could have responded differently? What was that event? What choice did you make to diffuse the situation? Did you react? Did you respond? How does it feel looking back on that event? Could you have responded differently to it to have created a more positive outcome? You must learn to become detailed and specific about the choices you make or you will continue to repeat the same habits which in turn will have the same outcome.

Fear is a choice. Fear can be your best friend AND your worst enemy. Wouldn’t you rather embrace fear of the unknown than run away from it? I know this sounds cliché, but imagine 30 years from now and you are looking back on your life. Would there be something that you wish you had done, but chose not to because of fear? I am sure there is. We don’t move forward in life without taking some sort of positive risks. We also don’t get anywhere from worrying about the “what if’s”. The “what if’s” will hold you back from the success you want to see in yourself.

What choice can you make today to move yourself forward whether you are scared or not? The goal here is to get you unstuck from making poor, useless, and unproductive choices. Let’s make the change.

How do you do that? First, you have to be aware of the energy that surrounds the choice you are about to make. Take, for example, your breakfast. If you reach for oatmeal first thing in the morning, you know it has health benefits. It will give you more energy and lower your cholesterol, so we hear. Doesn’t that sound more beneficial than reaching for frosted flakes? How would you rather start your day? Healthy or Unhealthy?

Here is a choice menu for you to try:

Begin taking ownership of your life and the choices you made in the past: Accept and Surrender to it. It is what it is and you cannot change the past. The only thing you can do is change your future by making positive choices.

Every single morning make the choice to feel great. Before you step foot on the ground, tell yourself it is going to be a great day and you will feel and be awesome

Take pride in everything you do. Go into it with a positive attitude. Remember, you cannot change people or situations at times, but you can change your response to them

Here is your weekly introspection.

Ask yourself this question every morning:

WHAT ACTION STEP(S) CAN I TAKE TODAY THAT WILL DETERMINE POSITIVE AND SUCCESSFUL OUTCOMES?

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com. 

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“Gratitude is the emotional life blood that gives us the ability to feel connected to the deepest part of ourselves and experience joy that is right before our eyes.”  Ken D. Foster

As you travel through this journey called life, there will be many events that will make you feel that there is virtually no hope. You may feel and become depressed, anxious, and worried about what will take place next. During these moments it is very easy to be blind to the beauty and love that surrounds you every day. Whether you live in a city or a rural area, there are good things happening all around you, when you take time to look.

So, how do we get out of our own way to see this beauty? Nothing positive or beautiful is seen in moments of chaos, stress, negativity or depression. In fact, that is all that will be seen. Everything in life takes effort. Lessons can be taught and skills can be learned. The power lies within you. You will have to try to see the good fortune that surrounds you. Now, you may be telling yourself that you have no money in the bank, my husband/wife left me, I lost my job, and now my Toyota is getting recalled. Yet, if you start asking the right questions, I can assure you that you will feel gratitude and see the goodness in everything that is coming your way.  

Are you one of those people who tend to focus on what you do not have and not what you do have? If so, have you noticed that chaos and negative outcomes seem to flow into your life continually? We all have our complaining and “the world is out to get me” moments.  It is OK to notice what is not working in the world.   But when we dwell on what is wrong and focus our energies on worrying, complaining or judging the world, nothing productive or good comes out of it.  We tend to get what we focus on, wouldn’t you agree?

Complaining and wallowing in negativity or self-pity will cause emotional upset and stop you from being productive. The question I would like you to ask yourself is: What do you get out of complaining? Do you feel strong putting down people, places or things?  Do you get a false sense of power?  When you can find out what the emotional payoff is, you can stop the behavior and replace it with a more productive question.  Like, “What is good about the situation?” or “What is perfect about what is happening?” or “What is the opportunity hidden in this seemingly negative situation?” These types of questions tend to focus your mind in the direction of wisdom, instead of what is wrong.  So, let me ask you this, “What are you willing to do today, to stop sabotaging yourself by complaining or focusing on the negative?” The choice is yours. Are you ready to see the good fortune that is in your life? If so, read on.

There are many good things to be grateful for, yet so many of us dismiss them or take them for granted. Sometimes we just don’t see what is really happening around us, because we are caught up in what we think is right.  But have you ever asked what you are not seeing that is right in your presence?  Take a look right now, and find something in your environment that you are grateful for.  When we see the good in life, including the good in the challenges that are coming our way, we start to realize that no matter what happens everything is there for a reason.  It is there to help strengthen us, and move us forward in life.   

If we want to make positive changes in how we see the world, and grow in abundance, then we must learn how to be still and master the skill of being present. What I mean by present is that the past is done and the future has not happened, yet. Therefore, to be grateful requires release of the negativity that occupies your thoughts and to give thanks for the now. If you can master the skill of being grateful, you will see significant life transformation occur. As a result, you will appreciate life and all it has to offer because you are now focusing your efforts on seeing the blessings that surround you rather than the sorrow that controlled you.

I am going to give you an assignment that will help you learn to see your blessings. Sit in a quiet place with a piece of paper, pen or pencil. Take a deep breath and look at your day. Ask yourself, “What ten things am I grateful for happening today?” Then commit to writing down ten things every day for the next seven days.  In just seven days time you can change your mind and open up new possibilities for you.  As you will find out, you actually do have a lot to be grateful for.

Here are some things that I have recently been grateful for. As you write your own, write them with conviction. Begin each gratitude with I AM.
1.  I AM grateful that I have bills to pay, because that means I am alive to see them.
2.  I AM grateful that I was sitting in rush hour traffic because that means I have a car to drive.
3.  I AM grateful that I can speak so that I can help others.
4.  I AM grateful that I have a job that I love because so many do not.
5.  I AM grateful that I have friends, family, and pets that love me unconditionally, because many do not.

I would like to leave you with this. 

Gratitude is a gift from God to help us see reality clearly and get us through the toughest of times.  It unlocks the fullness in life and increases the joy that all of us have inside.  It helps us turns pain into understanding, ignorance into wisdom, hate into love, chaos into order, confusion into clarity and failure to abundance.  It can turn your greatest challenges into your greatest learning experiences, and your biggest mistakes become your greatest miracles.  Gratitude increases your connection with the deepest part of yourself by helping you let go of the past, be in the moment, and by so doing, create a compelling future. 

So, today is the perfect day to be in gratitude and face every challenge with two powerful questions; “What is perfect about this situation?”, and “What am I grateful for?” 

 

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com. 

Premier Coaching: Business Coaching through the art and science of empowering and advancing you and your business

“There is no greater force in nature than the power of a soul committed to evolving upward” – Ken D. Foster

I have a friend who had a dream for 15 years. She wanted to be a public speaker and life coach to empower and educate people on domestic violence prevention.  She tried for several years to make that happen. As she traveled on her path through life, she found herself in dead end jobs, all the while desiring and focusing on what she wanted to be: a public speaker and life coach. She was always dissatisfied and discontent with all the positions she held in corporate America.

She was never happy with what she was doing, nor was she ever fulfilled. She was neglecting her passion.  Things were not working because people around her could not understand why she was still trying so hard to make her dream a reality. They continued to tell her, “Why don’t you just give up and stay in a job that pays you regularly? That way you don’t have to worry about money coming in.” That same person down the road told her, “Did you know that 80% of people despise their jobs?” She was adamant in her response, “I am not going to be one of those 80%.” 

As I was interviewing her for this blog article, she began to be really honest with herself. She told me that she used to just dream about her dream. She never had a plan or a blueprint on how to get to where she wanted to be, on a platform inspiring people. She continued to wait for things to happen. She did not know the work that it took to get her on that platform of life. She began to doubt herself and her abilities. So, she continued to stay in her dead end jobs and go back to school so she could counsel people. That way she will always have the security of a job. Although she did not enjoy it, life was easy.

Ten years after the traumatic death of a family member, she had an emotional breakdown that placed her in a behavioral health unit at a local hospital. After her three month treatment was completed, my friend found the speaking topic that would fulfill her calling: Mental Health and Wellness. She had some money saved up, so she made a commitment to herself that she will share her story of struggle and triumph so that others do not experience what she went through.

You see, we all have an experience in our life; each of us has a story that resides in us that is yearning to be revealed and shared. Once my friend had her personal experience, things began to happen for her. Her passion and focus shifted from a desire to a purpose; from a HAVE TO HAVE IT to a WANT TO SHARE IT!

Now, she wakes up every day with excitement and gratitude. She creates her day with completing three tasks that will get her one step closer to living her destiny.

Have you ever asked yourself probing questions that get to the root of your inner self? Have you done the inner questioning to help you uncover your purpose—what your life is calling you to do? We must ask ourselves powerful questions to get to the core of our being.

To get you started, have you ever asked yourself, “If time and money were not an issue, what would I be doing?” I like this question because it is as if we won the lottery. If you won a million bucks, what would you do? A question like this can begin to unveil some of your interests. You may discover you like to travel, remodel homes, or you are fond of antique cars. You may discover you like to paint or garden. You may discover you love working with kids or charity organizations. You may discover the talent that can turn into a skill you can share with others and be paid to do it!

So, ask yourself, that question and maybe some of these:

Am I honoring myself and the gifts, talents and skills I am blessed to have?   

If I had a choice of what would bring me substantial income, what would that be?

Does my choice reflect your highest values and beliefs? NOTE: Your values, beliefs and morals must be congruent with your passion and purpose for life.
 
Am I living a life of balance between work, play, family, recreation and spiritual commitments? If one of these is off kilter, then most likely your life is unbalanced.

Isn’t it time to discover what you love so that you can do what you love? Have you heard the saying, “Do what you love and love what you do?”

I want to scare you a bit here. Imagine you have one week left to change your life, to turn that dream of yours into a reality. Once your day 7 arrives, there is no going back. You will remain the same for all eternity. The chances of you ever wanting to pursue your dream are over. You will not have any more chances or opportunities. It is day 6 and you are still doing what you did before you were inspired by this blog. You are still sitting, hoping and waiting for change to just happen. Day 7 has arrived. No change has occurred because you never asked yourself probing questions that would change your life forever, turn your life into a purposeful one—a life that could inspire you and help others.

Start searching for meaningful work that you will enjoy and will truly fulfill you and feed your spirit. Find a career where you will not rely on an alarm clock because you are so excited to get up each morning and get started. I am not saying to quit your job tomorrow. You have to be smart when making significant life changes. Determine how much money and time you have to invest in yourself at this present time. If you have a house and no money in savings, I recommend keeping your job and do three action steps a day to get you one step closer to your dreams. Eventually, over time, you will get to where you were meant to be all along.

It is never too late to change.  I have met people who were well into their 50s who decided that today is the day their life will change forever. Today is the day they will no longer tolerate the ball and chains that held them down for so many years. Today is the day they will explore who they really are and unveil what they truly enjoy.

Do you have limited beliefs about your ability to change? Of course you do. It is scary. But, that is the purpose behind this message. I want you to imagine yourself in the place you want to be. Close your eyes and imagine. Start believing in yourself that you can live the life you desire and that you were meant to. You were meant to live a life of peace, abundance, satisfaction and fulfillment.

MINDFUL EXERCISE:

Every time a negative thought or limited belief enters your mind, anytime a response begins with a “Yeah, but” or “I wish I could, but can’t”, anytime one of those limited beliefs enters your mind, I want you to say to yourself, “STOP IT.” Just STOP IT and close your eyes and imagine yourself in the life you desire.

And ask yourself these questions:

• When the time of my death comes, how will I want people to remember me?
• What is the inspirational, moral, and wise legacy I want to pass on to coming generations?
• What ways can I use my talents to serve humanity?
• What is the work I feel I am meant to do?
• What three tasks will I do to get me one step closer to my dreams?

Answer these and you will be well on your way to finding your calling.

To find out more about Ken Foster and his programs go to www.premiercoaching.com or www.theentrepreneursedgecoaching.com and check out his latest bestselling book at www.asksucceed.com.