Finding Peace in a Stressful Life

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“We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.” Epictetus

Imagine you have decided there is no way out of your current life situation.  You will keep earning the amount of money that keeps you just over broke, you will continue to have the same relationships that don’t support your dreams, you will not be able to organize your life, your family life will not improve, the weight you have been trying to lose for years will keep coming back and your success will continue to start and stop over and over again. 

You know the stinking thinking that got you into this mess will keep you right where you are.  You have come to the conclusion that you will have to change your thinking on the inside in order to see life differently on the outside. 

The mind has one job – to find the truth to any question asked.  The problem that gets in the way of finding the answers to every challenge in life is twofold.  First, most people have been programmed to find the answers outside of themselves by asking teachers, family and friends for advice; and second, much energy is wasted on trying to prove the perception of what the mind perceives is true.  Your mind will try to overlook anything that will prove it wrong. 

Let’s take the latter challenge first.  If a thought crosses your mind that your partner doesn’t love you and you dwell on that thought, then the mind will start looking for proof.   It will try to prove that the statement is true and search for answers that justify the statement.  Then, your partner walks into the room.  Unbeknownst to you, she has just received some news about a friend who has lied to her.  You look at your partner’s face and think, “She can’t stand the sight of me.”  Now you have your proof.  Since thoughts beget feelings and feelings beget actions, you are now feeling angry, so you react to your partner by storming out of the room (action) to justify your thoughts that she does not love you.  Your mind uses this to enforce the original thought and so justifies its righteousness.  If at this point you call a friend and tell them how right you have been about your partner not loving you and your friend agrees, then you have more proof to justify your thoughts.  But this thought is an illusion.

If you use the mind properly and search for the real truth within yourself, you will soon come up with a truth that will replace whatever you have made up.  You can retrain the brain quickly by quieting the mind and asking powerful questions that will stir you to seek the truth.  You can find these powerful questions in the book “Ask and You Will Succeed.”  www.ask-succeed.com

An easy one to ask is, “Is this really true?”  If you keep asking the question you will eventually get to a new understanding of truth, in which case the mind will override and replace the original thought.  You will know when you have the right answer because you will have lasting peace around the issue. 

After answering the questions in “Ask and You Will Succeed,” many people experience immediate relief from thoughts that have troubled them for years.  What is noteworthy is that people who have redirected the mind continue to broaden and expand their life.  Many have had breakthroughs in the area of finance, where money is no longer a struggle.  Some find the career of their dreams.  Some experience more joy and fun in their lives than they have had in years.  Some who have been searching for life partners for years find them; others find their health improves dramatically; and many experience a newfound peace. 

What is exciting is that the inquiry can be fun.  The questions in “Ask and You will Succeed” are designed to work on both simple challenges and earth-shattering problems.  The questions are an education and they will bring light on every area of your life to put an end to ignorance and bring in joy.  The gift is that you will change the conversations in your life … and your life will never be the same again. 

The right questions will change perceptions and shift reality.  They will free your spirit from the prison of self-defeating thoughts.

Authentic Communication

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When distinguishing the word authentic from similar words like sincere or genuine, Webster’s dictionary defines authentic as “…stresses complete sincerity, without feigning or hypocrisy.” So, authentic means being real.

Authentic Communication is the instruction we receive from our deep inner core. These are the instructions that reflect our deepest values, convictions, philosophies, dreams and beliefs — what is real and unique. These instructions must be distinguished from the cultural conditioning, also know as group think, which are the collective beliefs and systems given to us by others, e.g. parents, schools, relatives, and institutions. These programmed communication patterns are, for our purposes, archaic. These speaking patterns contain many shoulda, coulda, wouldas, and are guaranteed to constrict and suffocate the true self. This kills creativity and leads only to compliance and compromise.

An intimate relationship with ourselves is vital to the process of living and authentic life. Over the years I have coached thousands of people who have learned to tap into their inner wisdom and create the life of their dreams. The coaching experience allows one to quickly and intimately become connected with his or her own deep inner process. By connecting with your Authentic Self you will create and make better choices, increase vitality, and understand why you are here. This is what Coaching is all about, and what will lead to your Greatest Year Ever! For more information to http://www.premiercoaching.com .

Cause of Anger

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“The greatest of all enemies of man is himself. More than personal or national enemies, more than germs, bombs or any other threat, man should fear himself when he is wrong. To remain in ignorance of your divine nature and to be overpowered by bad habits is to make an enemy of your own self. The best way to be successful in this adventure of life is to be your own friend.”
- Parmahansa Yogananda

What does anger have to do with success? A life filled with anger is one subject to violence and chaos, one in which peace and tranquility are strangers and resentment and blame constant companions. Anger is the cause of broken homes, broken dreams and broken lives. An angry life is an unsuccessful life.

When resentment born anger is left unchecked, it can harden into impenetrable barriers, emotional defenses that separate us from the ones about whom we care most. In a life lived from behind these bulwarks, finger-pointing and blame are so rampant that one is rendered incapable of taking responsibility for his actions. Love withers and dies.

“Many people are driven by resentment and anger,” says renowned pastor and author Rick Warren in his book The Purpose-Driven Life. “They hold onto hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in their minds. Some resentment-driven people ‘clam up’ and internalize their anger, while others ‘blow up’ and explode it onto others. Both responses are unhealthy and unhelpful.”
Despite the dire consequences of living this way, why are so many of us so angry? Is it because the rewards we seek are not immediate? Is it because we face challenges to our most passionately held convictions? Or is it because we’ve inherited some long-obsolete instinct we cannot overcome? It may be impossible to know, but that doesn’t mean we can afford to ignore this sometimes paralyzing force.

Anger can be an intense emotional state, a sense that you are being antagonized by someone or something. But it can also be a chronic condition, a simmering soup of displeasure. For many, it simply becomes a habit.

Anger is generally rooted in feelings of frustration and helplessness, envy and jealousy, the belief that you are unable to attain what you want and the fear that you will lose what you have. Think about the last time you were angry. Why did you feel that way? What did you want that you weren’t getting? What were you afraid you would lose?

Anger almost always hurts the angry person more than the object of his anger. The person who made you angry may not even know he made you angry; even if he does, he has likely moved beyond whatever feelings of responsibility – or lack thereof – he had, while you continue to stew in your own juices. You cling to the anger as if it were a precious jewel. You replay the circumstances that gave rise to it over and over in your head. You seize on how you were right and he was wrong. In engaging in an endless hypothetical argument, you have given this person power over you.

In fact, those who have offended – who hold this power over you – cannot perpetuate the offense unless you let them. Don’t let them. First, admit to yourself that you are angry. Then, see if you can isolate the factors that trigger this anger, that keep its embers glowing. After you have identified them, consider your values in determining how and why they set you off. What is important to you? In the grand scheme of your life, what really matters?

Now that you have put your anger into this perspective, can you let go of it? Are you ready

to forgive the offense and more on? Or do you feel an airing of your grievances is required first? Once you have reflected on the nature of your anger and come to some enlightenment, you must take action to defuse it.

Ridding oneself of anger is an ongoing process, one you may never fully complete. However, by understanding the root cause of your anger and its triggers, you can gain control over it, quash its power to influence your feelings and behavior, maybe even find something positive breathing beneath its surface.

Ask yourself: When was the last time you were angry? How did it feel? Why did you feel that way? How did you react? What were the consequences? Was the situation resolved? If not, why not? If you can learn something about yourself from anger, you can make it your ally and thus another foothold on your climb to success.

Visit the GreatestYearEver for more questions that will open doors to answers unseen.©