Self Esteem: the Driving Force to Success
“When you can believe in yourself, even when others doubt, you will know moments of brilliance and success uncommon to most” Ken D. Foster
When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel? Do you believe in yourself? Overall, do you like YOU and the person YOU are? If not, are you willing to do what it takes to bolster your self esteem?
One of the main components to attain lasting success (however you personally measure success) is the belief that you can do it. Believing in yourself is an attitude. You have to learn to believe in yourself to make what you want a reality. Sadly, extensive research has shown that over 85% of us have some degree of Self-Esteem deficit! At first, I was a little skeptical when I heard this shocking statistic. But then I started thinking about all the coaching clients I have worked with over the last 16 years, and most of them had some kind of self-esteem issue going on.
Many of these clients set goals, but never accomplished them. There seemed to be a theme of lack of completion. This is one of the key components in raising self-esteem – keeping commitments to yourself and others. And as these clients started taking responsibility for accomplishing what they committed to, their self-esteem rose in proportion, and so did their income.
Have you ever wondered what has stopped you from achieving your biggest goal? For many, it is lack of self-esteem, which has come from lack of concentration and commitment. Both of these qualities are learned, and you can start on these immediately. When you keep commitments to yourself, you start feeling better about yourself.
You must also learn how to believe in yourself to conquer life’s challenges and obstacles. Believing in yourself takes conscious effort. The first step is getting to know yourself. Through the process of introspection, you can ask and answer questions like, “What do I love to do”? What are my greatest talents, skills, and gifts”? “What have I already been successful at”? Without true, authentic love and appreciation for yourself, you will not reach the levels of self-confidence that it takes to really succeed in life. It is difficult to build a dream life, when you really don’t believe that you deserve it.
When we lack self-esteem or don’t believe in ourselves, it leaves the door open to many unpleasant results. When we make choices from low self-esteem, many times these choices are not in our best interest. They actually harm us. With high regard for yourself, you value your time, energy and effort. And when you respect yourself, you make choices that empower you. As a result, you attract people in your life that respect you and value your contributions.
A symptom of low self-esteem is procrastination. You put off things that will actually propel you to success. The reason this comes about is a sub-conscious belief that you are not worthy. If this is happening in your life, it is important to know and affirm that worthiness isn’t something that is earned, it is something you are born with. You are worthy to succeed, you are worthy to have a great life, you are worthy to feel loved, you are worthy to have great relationships. You are worthy to live the life of your dreams.
Many people believe that when they acknowledge themselves, they may be considered selfish. But there is a huge difference between selfishness and authentic self-love. Selfishness comes from ego and doesn’t have any regard for anyone else. Authentic self-love comes from the deep knowledge inside yourself that tells you that respecting yourself and valuing your talents is the pathway toward serving others in an empowering way. We need to value our time, energy and efforts when it will empower us. Once you can get to the point of honoring yourself so much that it becomes second nature, you will see nothing but joy around you. Those who surround you will love and respect you, because you have taken care of the business of “YOU”.
No one wants to be around a “downer.” Everyone wants to be surrounded by happiness and those who are joyful. So, to get there, you have to focus on yourself a bit, because building self-esteem is a skill that takes time and commitment.
I have found the best way to start building lasting self-esteem is to start asking empowering questions each day. One of the reasons questions work so effectively in building self-esteem is that the answer is in the question you ask. If you ask about the good in your life, you will find the answer. The opposite is also true, so make sure to focus on questions that empower you. If you are having trouble with figuring out what questions to ask, you can find 1001 life changing questions in my book “Ask and You Will Succeed”.
Here are a few questions to consider: What were some things in the past that you made you very happy? Did you do charity work? Did you make someone smile? Did you get an A on an exam? Did someone acknowledge that you are doing a good job? What have you accomplished that you are proud of? What makes you happy? These are types of questions to ask yourself so that you become aware of the greatness within you. It is very difficult to be unhappy and have low self-esteem when you are acknowledging your greatness, the good around you, and what you have brought into the world.
There is absolutely no avoiding the different circumstances in life, but it is how we travel through this journey that will determine our success or failure. We can either focus our minds on the fear of the unknown, procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, or low self-esteem behaviors; or we can focus our minds on the brilliance that comes through all of us and acknowledge our gifts, talents and the indomitable will power that is within us to overcome any obstacle to success. As we do, we will raise our confidence and self-esteem to higher and higher levels.
Ken D. Foster is the bestselling author of Ask and You Will Succeed, Coach and contributing writer to the Premier Coaching Blog. Find out about Ken’s life changing program at: www.premiercoachingvip.com